


we'll fly like angels into the sun

by nahmooste



Category: Professional Wrestling, 新日本プロレス | New Japan Pro-Wrestling
Genre: M/M, also briefly - Freeform, as well as Kota, bookmark just incase, briefly, i don't know stay tuned, shinsuke is also briefly mentioned, the Young Bucks are mentioned, there's a lot of maybes, this is one of those "when your ship is too rare and you have to make your own stuff" moments, three chapters rn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-26 12:57:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12059427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nahmooste/pseuds/nahmooste
Summary: Okada thinks that maybe, just maybe, this battle isn't all there is to what they are.





	1. Chapter 1

Okada watches Kenny with some weird fascination now, eyebrows turned in, lips parted, and he wants to know why it is that he can’t seem to stop. When did it happen? Was it the first time Kenny laid hands on him? Was it when he was put through that table in the lead up to Wrestle Kingdom? Kenny was magnetic back then. He’s magnetic now. Okada knows… he knows enough about Kenny to know that, should he want something bad enough, it’ll be his unequivocally, undoubtedly.

Before Wrestle Kingdom, he’d only wrestled Kenny in tag matches. He’d never touched him, never spent time thinking about him or about what they could make. Maybe that was his mistake— maybe he should have seen Kenny coming a long time before he actually did. Maybe he should have known he was there even before all of this.

When he thinks about it, his mind drifts to something Kota Ibushi had said during the G1 hype; “he’s going to kill me.” Okada knows the feeling more than he knows himself.

But, even when they’re in that ring— the first time, the second time, the third time… Okada knows Kenny is not going to kill him. Kenny trusts him, does moves he’s never done, and Okada just lets it roll off him. He’s in the right place at the right time, always, and Kenny never missteps, _never_. He missteps with everyone else. Not with Okada.

When Kenny finally beats him in the G1, Okada feels numb. He’s been holding onto this— this _hope_ that if he kept beating Kenny, kept holding on just the slightest, Kenny wouldn’t leave. They wouldn’t stop fighting. That he’d never see the man’s back as he walked away from him, just as he’d seen Shinsuke’s. It’s a stupid notion, a stupid hope, but one all the same. The way Kenny’s grin ripped across his face when Okada spoke his name after beating Fale… Okada hoped that, maybe, Kenny felt the same way.

The looks they shared and the chemistry they had is something Okada has with few people.

It is something Kenny has with fewer.

Okada feels Kenny’s pain when he loses to Naito in the Climax final. Okada feels another kind of pain when Kota finds him first.

Matt and Nick see him hovering in the hallways, behind the cameras and press, and they say nothing to Kenny, like it’s supposed to be nothing to all of them. The brothers know better, and Okada only finds this out when Matt places a warm hand on his shoulder. He wants to shove it off. He can’t find the strength.

This kind of jealous rage builds within Okada’s bones. He wants to know what happened between the Golden Lovers and why Kenny still loves Kota, even when he says he doesn’t. He starts to wonder what Kota has that he doesn’t.

Okada comes to the conclusion that he needs to do something about it. He wants to tell Kenny that he has a rematch to think about, because Okada won’t let any victory over him go like it’s nothing, even if he was fighting injured. He’ll tell Kenny that after they are healed and both at full health, their match will have no time limit, be won by submission or pinfall only. Kenny would like that, he thinks. Kenny would say yes to that.

He’s dressed in street clothes now, ducking and weaving between the people who are beginning to pull apart the arena, and there’s only one thing on his mind. Kenny is going to say yes. He has to. Okada won’t let him say no.

But when Okada knocks on Kenny’s dressing room, he starts to think what a mistake this might be. Kenny might not feel half of what Okada feels, might not want to acknowledge it or continue their fight— he might want something more than Okada.

Nick Jackson opens the door. The smile drops off his face. “Kenny…”

Okada says nothing to the younger brother. Nick says nothing to Okada. When Kenny steps up beside his friend, eyes immediately on his, Okada feels weak. There’s no better word for it. Kenny takes a step back and panic sets into Okada’s entire being.

“ _Matte_ , Kenny—“ he tries to say, but the words struggle to form and he stutters over them. “Wait, please.”

Instead of walking away, Kenny grabs a jumper and tells the rest of the people gathered in his room that he’ll be back soon. When the door shuts, he hears Nick tell them that it was just an official asking to speak to him. He doesn’t know why the brothers protect him, but they do.

Kenny is staring at him expectantly, and everything Okada wanted to say to him falls dead on his tongue. “Can we—“ his English isn’t the best, and he doesn’t know why he even started speaking it when Kenny is fluent in Japanese. “Private. Please.”

“You can speak Japanese.” Kenny replies, nodding to a door a little away from them. “It’s the Bucks’ room, they won’t mind.”

Okada is shocked by how patient Kenny is being with him. It’s as if he knows Okada is struggling and gives him the time of day still. Maybe Kenny feels it, too.

His mind is going a million miles an hour, heart racing just the same and the moment Kenny shuts the door, the moment he turns back to Okada, he knows exactly what he’s going to do. Exactly how he’s going to do it.

Kenny sees the look in Okada’s face. “Kaz—“

His hands find the Canadian’s face, thumbs pressing his jaw up, body pressing his to the door— Okada stops just before he does something he’ll regret. He doesn’t speak in English, doesn’t want to fuck up his words. “We will have our rematch and I will beat you. No time limit. No interference. Okada vs Omega, winner takes all.”

“Okada—“

“Say yes.”

“Okay,” Kenny says, frowning. Like he doesn’t understand why this is so important to him. “Fine, yes.”

Okada wants to step away from him. He wants to, so bad, but under his fingers like this, Kenny feels soft and warm and more real than any time they’d spent together in that ring.

“Kazuchika…” the Canadian murmurs, eyes darting between his own and his mouth.

“I will beat you.”

Kenny grins. “You can try.”

He kisses him, finally. Lets his hand slip down to Kenny’s waist, the other holding the back of his head, and kisses him feverishly and without direction. It lasts for longer than he expects it to, makes his skin crawl because _yes_ , this is what he was looking for, _this_  is the answer he needed so badly. Their tongues move together, lips wet, and Kenny is kissing Okada back because _of course he is_.

Maybe this is a mistake. Okada thinks that, maybe for now, making a mistake will be the best thing he could possibly do.


	2. Chapter 2

The smell of his hair, the taste of his mouth, the feeling that his skin seems to surround him, gotten inside of him or into the air all around him… it’s the most intoxicating thing he’s ever known.

 

Even when they’re wrestling out of their skins, sweating and snarling and hissing at each other because they both want to win— even when they hate each other so deeply they can’t think about anything else, Kenny wouldn’t have it any other way. He doesn’t want it any other way. His heart almost beats out of his chest when Okada calls for him after his battle with Fale; “ _Matte— matte! Kenny!”_ , and he’s smirking because _yes_.

 

He knows it stings the other man when people tell him Kenny was the better performer of the night. He knows that, if Kazuchika Okada had the chance, he’d make sure everyone in the world knew he was the best. The bastard was arrogant if nothing else, and Kenny of all people knew just how well he could back it up. It was one thing to talk the talk and another entirely to walk the walk. Okada did both. And, while Kenny was markedly better with that microphone to his mouth, Okada never did disappoint. He never could.

 

Kazuchika Okada was New Japan’s golden boy. Produced for New Japan by New Japan trainers in a New Japan dojo. His time in TNA and Mexico are a blackened stain on his career that no one talks about.

 

But it all means nothing when Okada is standing across the ring from him. It’s nullified when Kenny holds him in a certain way to protect him from a move. Nullified when the Bucks are there to soften the incoming blow. Each superkick that doesn’t hit it’s mark… Kenny knows exactly what he’s doing. He doesn’t want to hurt Okada, doesn’t think he ever could. He's not been able to look at Okada the same way since Nakamura left.

 

Nakamura, the same man he'd beaten before winning the IWGP Intercontinental Championship. Nakamura, the same man Kazuchika Okada was inseparable from until the latter was left to fend for himself— until Shinsuke Nakamura had chosen fame over his home.

 

It broke Kazuchika like Kota leaving Kenny had broken him.

 

And this feeling… it reminds him of Kota. Both men so unattainably attractive, both men so close to his fingertips yet so far away. The kind of pain Kota put his soul in after they’d ended— “ _it’s not you, it’s me”_ , but of course it was him, because Kota… Kota was and still is perfection. He didn’t know that Kota had just— fallen out of love with him, that it really was Kota and not him, until he’d found out from someone else. That had hurt even more.

 

Maybe Kazuchika wouldn’t hurt him like that. Maybe Kenny would never give him the chance to.

 

“I will beat you.” He says it like it’s a given. There’s a frown on his face like there’s no point in disputing it, and Kenny knows that Okada believes in every fibre of his being that he can win.

 

Kenny doesn’t agree. “You can try.”

 

Kazuchika makes no attempt to be subtle about his intentions. His cheeks are pink, the flush crawling down past his chest, bottom lip worried by white teeth. He probably has no idea the affect he’s having on Kenny.

 

And when he steps forward and finally kisses him… _I think I love you_.

 

_I think I love you._

 

It sends a shiver through Kenny’s body and Kazuchika thinks it’s because of the way he’s holding him, presses against him even closer, and there’s not enough and too much of him all at once. “Kazu—“ he struggles to say against the Japanese man’s mouth, but when he does— the kiss stops immediately.

 

“I’m sorry—“

 

He feels blinded like this, having expected something but not Okada’s fumbling embarrassment. Kenny looks at the taller man with his head angled. Even when Kazuchika speaks to him in English, he’ll always answer in Japanese. “Why are you sorry?”

 

“Because—“ but he can’t finish his sentence. His dark eyes stare at the ground and then the door and then Kenny, and Kenny thinks that this man in front of him is the most beautiful disaster he’s ever seen. Kenny thinks that, maybe, in another lifetime, they’d be something more than rivals, something less than lovers, a perfect balance in perfect synchronicity. But he knows deep in his soul that nothing of the kind can exist in this kind of world. He knows that Kazuchika Okada will never love him.

 

 _I think I love you_.

 

“You don’t want to walk down this path with me,” Kenny tells him. “You’re curious about it, about me, about why you can’t stop thinking about me, but this— _I_ am not something you want to do.”

 

It looks like the wind has been knocked out of him. Okada stands there, reddened lips, pink cheeks, and his eyes are so unguarded that he can see every emotion flicker across them. His shoulders slump. Fists clench.

 

Kenny forgets for a moment that Kota is in the same building as him.

 

“You’re the face of a company. You have a brand to protect. I am who I am and no company will change that. Are you prepared for the whole world to know _you,_ and not the Rainmaker?”

 

He doesn’t know why he’s trying to persuade Kazuchika differently to what the man wants. Kenny would fuck the man, _be fucked_ by the man, over and over again if he could. But he stands here across from a man who smells like sin and regret and tells him that maybe this idea isn’t the best idea.

 

Okada sucks his bottom lip into his mouth. “I don’t care about the future.”

 

“You care about the future,” Kenny scoffs at him. “You just don’t want to care what they’ll think of you.”

 

“No—“ he sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “I mean— what’s that phrase? Live now, think later.”

 

“Okada—“

 

Kazuchika looks at him for a long moment. Then, “I don’t care.”

 

He surges forward and grabs Kenny again, kisses him so hard he doesn’t know who’s air he’s breathing, and Kenny forgets everything in the world except for Okada— his smell, his taste, his skin, intoxicating and soft and subtle.

 

 _I think I love you_.


	3. Chapter 3

_Do you think you could love me? If I held my shoulders a certain way and promised to be unequivocally yours? Do you think you could love me if I was angry at you, beaten and broken, bruised and without reason or rational thought? I want to believe that maybe there is hope. That maybe you may love me one day for who I really am, no lights, no fame, no money. I want to think that I’d mean so much to you that nothing could ever come between us. I want to dream of our future— and I want you to dream of it, too. All I know is that I love you. I look for you in everyone I see. Do you think you could love me, too? And if you can’t, just make it easy… say I never mattered, anyway._

 

Kazuchika Okada was a simple man until Shinsuke Nakamura stepped into his life. He was confused, intoxicated, felt loved and gave love. The illusion of it all shattered when Shinsuke left New Japan. _Nothing will change_ , he said, soft eyes and soft hands and soft smile, and Kazuchika believed him because how could he not? But Shinsuke was a busy man. _Nothing will change_ became strained communication and short conversations. Now, Okada barely speaks to him. He’s not built for long distance— neither of them are. Shinsuke never apologised to him, either, not even when he apologised too many times for being angry about it. After Shinsuke left him, he felt so, so entirely alone.

 

“You care about the future,” Kenny tells him. His face twists in confusion, eyebrows drawn together. “You just don’t want to care what they’ll think of you.”

 

Okada sighs in frustration, pushes his hand through his hair. “No— I mean… what’s the phrase? Live now, think later?”

 

Kenny just shakes his head at him. “Okada—“

 

Suddenly, he’s sick of people making decisions for him. He’s sick of being told to act a certain way, to interact with certain people, to not concern himself with others. He will be in New Japan’s debt for a lifetime, but he will not let them govern his life.

 

“I don’t care.”

 

Kazuchika kisses him again. He grabs Kenny, one hand under his chin and the other at his waist. Their tongues press together, bodies just as close, and this time Kenny doesn’t stop him. He lets this happen. Lets Okada kiss him as he pleases, slowly at first but growing quick in desperation and intensity, his hand slipping from Kenny’s waist to the round flesh of his ass. He presses his thumb into the Canadian’s chin and lowers his mouth to Kenny’s skin. Kissing him like this… it’s like sin.

 

Kenny squirms, moans softly, and Kazuchika grabs his hip in the hand not on his ass, pulls his hips flush against his own. And then Kenny seems to become another being entirely. Strong hands push him backwards and follow him, shove Okada to a wall, and they fight their way into fucking and it’s so completely Kenny Omega that Kazuchika almost laughs at it later.

 

Almost, because then Kenny has him moaning again, wanton desire flooding through every fibre of his body. He thinks he could stay in this room forever.

 

But even Okada knows they can’t, knows that Kenny has friends awaiting his return. He knows that he’ll always come second in that regard, at least right now, anyway. He’d never try and build himself to be just as important to Kenny as the Bucks. As Kota. He’s learned his lesson.

 

It’s difficult to think about it when Kenny is on top of him. The site sends a jolt down his spine, because he’s not thought of this properly or for too long, always confused, always too tired or sore. Kenny’s spread across his chest, smirk heavy as he hovers above him. And maybe Kazuchika stares for too long, because Kenny grabs his jaw in one hand and angles him back into another kiss. It’s filthier now, tongue and heavy breaths, biting, the kind of kiss that has his hairs standing on end, the kind of kiss that has him grinding up into Kenny.

 

He thinks he could love him.

 

He thinks Kenny could break him.

 

“We stay like this or you stay away from me,” Kenny tells him as they’re getting dressed. “Having you in between will be too much for us to handle.”

 

He takes it as a threat— the kind he’s supposed to do something about rather than ignore. He’ll remember it in the morning when he wakes up and the first thing on his mind is Kenny.

 

Kazuchika Okada will protect the IWGP Heavyweight Championship with his life. He thinks that, maybe, if anyone were to beat him, he’d like for it to be Kenny. He’d like to wrestle Kenny for the rest of his tenure at New Japan. He’d like to wrestle Kenny even beyond that.

 

_I want to tattoo you over my heart. Tattoo your kiss to my skin so I never forget the feel. Tattoo your kiss to my lips so I’ll always remember the taste. You let me rebirth myself, helped me carry my own ashes to the sea and let it wash away the worst parts of me. You watched it take my fear and my anxiety, take it all until there was nothing left of me. You helped me invent a brighter flame in me, burning desire and curiosity, took my bones to breathe life into them. And then you made sure that I loved myself before you let me be._

 

_I think I love you._

 

_I think I love you, too._


End file.
